just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Let's get the cat blown out
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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