garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
