Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
