bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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