I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
