Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
