Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's no shave November. This is our time.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
