Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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