2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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