let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
