Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
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he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
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I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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