Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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