Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
