ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize