Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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