I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
