we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
