He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
