I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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