I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
