Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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