I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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