wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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