we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
