walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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