Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
