Can Purell be used as lube?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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