Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
