i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
