Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize