i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
