whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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