Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize