I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
