I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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