One girl and one boy is just not enough.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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