Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
