the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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