Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
