She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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