Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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