This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
