who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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