That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
