I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
