What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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