I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
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