i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
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Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
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She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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