We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
