I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be