He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
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You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
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Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence