My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.