Can i not drive my cunt home
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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