i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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