Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize