that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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