I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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