Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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