Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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