Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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