ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
