Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
