M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
