I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
