we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
