porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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