You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
